Hello Reader,

Picture this ...

you're at the ice cream counter waiting to hear "Can I help who's next?" for your turn to get your hands on that fresh pumpkin pie sundae you've been craving all day. Before you can respond to the young lady who intones those magic words, a guy with an impatient expression pushes past you and steps confidently to the counter to begin his order.

🤔 Do you calmly say "excuse me, I am next" as you step forward to place your order?

🤔 Do you look to the young lady behind the counter to tell him that you are next?

🤔 Do you say nothing but stand there stewing, throwing daggers at the back of his head and giving stink-face to the woman behind the counter until someone else says "Can I help who's next?"

🤔 Do you say nothing and simply wait for the next opportunity to place your order, knowing that this is a story that you will tell all your friends and maybe even leave a Google review about?

Or maybe this is a more familiar scenario ...

you're at the family table at Thanksgiving and your Aunt Claire says "Do you really think you need that, dear?" when you ask for the sweet potato casserole to be passed. Earlier in the day, she mentioned that "you've put on a little weight" and asked you about your diet plans for the New Year. This kicks off a conversation around the table about how much prettier you were when you went on that diet to get ready for your last surgery and then family members chip in their two cents about when they thought you looked your best and what you could be doing differently now. You also overheard her telling your 16-year old niece that she'd look so much better if she "wore a little make up" and dressed like she was "putting in some effort."

🤔 Do you calmly say "Your opinions about my body are not welcomed. Please stop now." as you again ask for the sweet potatoes to be passed?

🤔 Do you smile meekly and look to your sister to step in and set them straight?

🤔 Do you join the conversation - sometimes agreeing and sometimes defending yourself - in hopes of making them understand?

🤔 Do you say nothing, trying to shrink yourself enough that the conversation moves on to anyone or anything else and set the sweet potatoes on the table untouched?

The impulse that many of us have is to "keep the peace."

The question that we often fail to ask is "whose peace is being kept?"

When our peace is not factored into the equation, it costs us dearly.

The costs seem minuscule or manageable at first - a little embarrassment here, a little swallowing our words there, a sprinkle of smiling when we want to scream added once in a while, and a dollop of laughing off an insult for good measure - but they accumulate over time to become a burden on the way we relate to ourselves that can cause a rupture in our self-image, self-belief and self-confidence.

It's not over-stating it to say that the pattern of "keeping the peace" at our own expense actively causes us harm.

And it's not great for anyone around us either - the serial peace disruptors don't have to deal with the very natural consequence of their actions; the peace-keepers become the ones whose peace is most disrupted; and the next generation who observe it all become destined to take their place as either disruptor or disrupted.

This is a pattern that we can learn to disrupt.

And it happens one calmer, clearer, and more courageous choice made from a space of being more wholly ourselves at a time.

That's the magic formula - build an inner foundation so steady and unshakable that compromising your peace to soften the impact of someone else's carelessness is simply not an option.

And that inner foundation is made of ...

Calm - the building block of self-love - consciously creating a connection to your centered, settled self; you become a great friend to yourself.

Clear - the building block of self-trust - consciously creating a connection to your intuitive self; you become a reliable guide to yourself.

Courageous - the building block of self-confidence - consciously creating a connection to your steady and honest self; you believe in yourself.

Whole - the building block of self-referral - consciously creating a connection to yourself as an integrated whole; you become unshakably you.

These are the building blocks of the Calm. Clear. Courageous. Whole Meditation Circle.

Invest 30 minutes a day, 3 days a week for 3 months for $33/month

and feel the ground firm beneath you as your foundation solidifies

and you become unshakably you

so that keeping the peace happens at no one's expense, especially your own.

​Join the circle today.​

We start on Monday, September 21st.

I hope to see you in the circle,

Tawnia

PS: The Calm. Clear. Courageous. Whole. meditation circle is now forming.

We start on September 21st at 7:30am ET.

​Head here to learn more and to join the circle​